Category: Uncategorized

MARIO TONEGUZZI
A Calgary Health Region policy of denying biological parents information about their children unless they also have custody is sparking a heated court battle.​

A local man, who was denied access to his boy’s, medical records, is fighting the CHR’s written policy, claiming it discriminates against him on the basis of marital status and it prevents him from gaining important medical information about his son.
The hearing will take place in an upcoming Alberta Court of Appeal case.​

The Men’s Educational Support Association is also applying to intervene in the case. MESA is a registered charitable organization whose main objective is to help families, fathers and children caught in the turmoil of domestic crisis. MESA believes that the interests of all children are best served by having both parents able to participate fully in their lives, even after divorce or separation.​

“MESA feels that this case represents one of the many discriminations faced by non-custodial parents,” said Paul Millar, vice-president of MESA.​

The application for intervener status in the case will be heard next Friday.
Continued on page B6
Records: Appeal filed after case denied
The man and his wife were granted a divorce in 1997.

Prior to the divorce, the father found out that his son had been admitted to the Alberta Children’s Hospital in August 1994.
He attempted to get a copy of his son’s medical records on Aug. 10, 1999.
QUOTABLE “I wanted to know why and they refused to give me the record”
“I wanted to know why and they refused to give me the record,” the man, who cannot be identified, said in an interview.
“They said they would not give a non-custodial parent access to the records unless the custodial parent consented or I had to go to court to get access. This was their policy.”​

A Calgary Health Region document states: “A custody order may indicate the other parent has access to health information, etc. “This is only for verbal information from a health-care professional, they do not receive copies, or view a chart unless a signed consent form the sole custodian is available. Copies of supporting documents will suffice. Keep a copy on the chart. If you are ever in doubt of custodial parent _definitely ask.”

On Aug. 29, 1999, the father filed a complaint with the Alberta Human Rights and Citizenship Commission regarding the health region’s policy and practice of not releasing medical records to non- custodial parents.
The commission’s initial investigation into the complaint ruled in his favour, stating that he was being discriminated against on the basis of his marital status.

The report said the health region justified its policy by pointing to the constraints of federal legislation and privacy issues.
“This policy and practice is not in accordance with the Divorce Act and is discriminatory per the Alberta Human Rights, Citizenship and Multiculturalism Act.​

“The investigation, therefore, finds merit to the complaint,” stated the report filed Dec.15, 1999.
The report also recommended that the father be allowed access to his son’s medical records and that the policies of the health region and all provincial regional health authorities be amended so that both parents of the child would receive information and records “ in respect of the child’s development and social activities such as school records, medical records and other relevant information.”
But in a notice of dismissal document filed March 25, 2000, the father’s complaint was dismissed. The document states the issue is one of a complex legal nature and the legal opinion of the commission’s counsel states the commission lacks jurisdiction in this matter.
The Calgary man appealed this decision to the chief commissioner, who in July 2000 upheld the decision that the commission did not have jurisdiction in the matter.

He then took the matter to Court of Queen’s Bench in Calgary in January 2002.
He has now filed an appeal of that decision with the Alberta Court of Appeal.
Doug Fraser, spokesman for the CHR, said “as long as it’s (the case) in front of the courts, we can’t speak to the case.”
The man’s nine-year-old son lives with his mother in Ottawa. She has interim custody of the boy, which the father is fighting in the court system.
toneguzzim@theherald.southham.ca
© Copyright 2003 Calgary Herald

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE​​​​

Men’s Educational Support Association (MESA)
CALGARY, TORONTO, March 2, 2009: Men’s and Father’s groups will hold a demonstration on March 6, 2009 at the Intercontinental Toronto Convention Centre, at 225 Front Street West followed by a march to the Ontario Legislative building (Queen’s Park) to demand the immediate dishonorable dismissal of Mr. Justice Paul Cosgrove of the Ontario Superior Court of Justice.

A Canadian Judicial Council (CJC) inquiry committee found that the conduct of Justice Cosgrove constituted judicial misconduct, he has admitted to the misconduct. On December 4, 2008, in a 4-1 decision, the committee found grounds for recommending to the federal justice minister that Justice Cosgrove be removed from office. 

​​The misconduct of the judge in the context of the trial in R. v. Julia Elliott the case that sparked the complaint by the Attorney General of Ontario was in fact not isolated to that case.

​​Justice Cosgrove is unwavering he wan​ts to be reinstated to the bench, depending upon testimonies from numerous judges of his track record in family law cases. 
​
​We men, fathers and supporters condemn vehemently the track record of Justice Cosgrove as it is filled with abuse of judicial ​power and clear and direct bias against fathers and men, in some cases the abuse was described by other judges as irrational.
​​​
​The public confidence in the judiciary who preside upon family law cases has been eroded and now it is broken. Cosgrove, exit the judicial chamber of abuse and incite other judges like you who commit similar but undetected judicial abuse of power to follow, you are a disgrace to Canadian justice.” says Gus Sleiman, President of the Men’s Educational Support Association, (MESA). 

​​​​The demonstration is set for March 6, 2009 in front of the Intercontinental Toronto Convention Centre at 9:30 am, followed by a march to start at approx. 1:00 pm to City Hall, then to the Court of Appeal of Ontario, 130 Queen Street West, then to Ontario Superior Court of Justice, 393 University, and to end at Queen’s Park. 

​​For further information please contact:
​​Gus Sleiman 
​MESA 
​(403) 228-6366 
​“Preserving the Integrity of Fatherhood for the Sake of the Children” 
www.mesacanada.com
​-30- 

Men’s Educational Support Association (MESA)
Calgary, Alberta
May 28, 2018
The Right Honourable Justin Trudeau
Prime Minister of Canada
The Honourable Jody Wilson-Raybould
Minister of Justice​​

RE: EQUAL PARENTING AND THE PROPOSED DIVORCE ACT AMENDMENTS
Please allow me to congratulate you for your efforts to amend the Divorce Act (R.S.C., 1985). Your action succeeded many genuine unsuccessful attempts to bring equality of parenting and fairness to the Divorce Act that is overdue for a major overhaul.

If Equal Parenting Isn’t Chosen Are Children Better Off?
The majority of Canadian fathers including the Right Honourable Justin Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada, mothers and grandparents desire to have Equal Parenting to play a central role in the process of the amendments to the Divorce Act. Due to raising of awareness about divorce issues and the negative impact on almost every member in the nation; individual attitudes have been changing to support a more balanced and equitable distribution of parental equality and responsibilities, with a large number of law makers providing full support for the concept of Equal Parenting.​

MESA’s Role
We at MESA provide support and information to parents who experience a domestic crisis. Our observations for the past two decades indicate a major shift in attitudes of parents and a judiciary leaning to ease their rigidity in awarding of custody to fathers. We also observed that a large number of mothers are placed on supervised access by court orders.

The Prime Minister of Canada Support of Equal Parenting is at Odds With the Minister of Justice Omission
The Prime Minister of Canada support for Equal Parenting as evidenced by the following transcribed excerpts:​​

Right Hon. Justin Trudeau (Papineau)
2018-03-28 14:29 [p.18230]
Mr. Speaker, with budget 2018, we are taking the next steps toward building an equal, competitive, sustainable, and fair Canada.
Our budget plan means that we can continue to invest in ways that will strengthen and grow the middle class and lay a more solid foundation for our children’s future. By addressing the gender wage gap, supporting equal parenting, and introducing a new women entrepreneurship strategy, we are making important progress toward equality. This is a budget Canadians can be proud of.
Video Link of the Statement on Equal Parenting: https://youtu.be/zlKhsqJhLL0

Equal Parenting and the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms
The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms “The Charter” guarantees equality before and under the law and equal protection and benefit of the law, “The Charter” under affirmative action programs does not preclude any law program or activity relating to disadvantaged individuals or groups.

Presumptive Equality of Parenting after separation or divorce is and should be at the heart of the Divorce Act when considering the proposed amendments.

Parents, regardless of their gender, in intact families are not considered a disadvantaged individual or groups, this designation extends to and when the parents separate or divorce. To depart from the fundamental principles of equality in this case, Equality of Parenting becomes an affront to our values and our families.

One Size Fits All
Canada is made up of the Provinces and Territories that are not of the same size but have different qualities and contribute to Canada according to their abilities. Provinces and Territories may disagree and fight among each other about many competing factors but they remain not only presumptive but always equal in upholding Canada.

Presumptive equality is a size that fits all Canadians; one example is Equal Parenting, otherwise, we descend into anarchy and disrespect to each other. There are numerous examples in the world about inequality and its effects on individuals, cultures and societies.

Non Equality in Parenting is the destructive force behind most parents’ fights in courts and outside courts; of course, this fight is also fuelled by financial gains as a result of who is to ascertain the decision making authority over the child.

Misinformation about Father’s and Men’s Groups
Presumptive Equal Parenting as presented by Father’s and Men’s groups is a principle of our Canadian values, not to be confused with “Equally Shared Time” as a scarecrow to women’s groups.

“Equal Parenting” is not a rigid interpretation meaning 50/50 time with a child; this is up to each individual parent to apportion the “parenting time” each according to their abilities and availability.

Studies and Reports in Favor of Equal Parenting
There are many studies and reports to enshrine and recommend Equal Parenting as the best available option to raise children after separation or divorce. One of those reports is: “For the Sake of the Children” Report that included 48 recommendations, was commissioned by the Canadian Government in December 1998 due to the work of the Special Joint Committee on Child Custody and Access.

A review of the proposed amendments to the Divorce Act indicates that some of the recommendations of the “For the Sake of the Children” Report are included or taken into consideration, however, the main recommendation No. 5 and 6 that calls for “Shared Parenting” which is at the heart of the changes is ignored in its totality.

The Best Interest of the Child test is well defined in the Report’s recommendation No. 16, detailed by 14 different and encompassing factors, but its done in conjunction with the principle of Equal Parenting or as described in the report as “Shared Parenting”.

Tweaking of the words from “Custody” or “Access” to “Parenting Order” or “Contact” in and by itself would not put to an end to the parent’s hostilities to defeat each other in court, and an appearance before a Dispute Resolution Officer can not eliminate this view. The terminology of Parenting Order or Contact is intertwined with the principle of Equal Parenting as without it the proposed amendments if enacted are hollow and will prove to be fatal to the Divorce Act.​

Mediation and Bargaining in the Shadow of the Law
While trying to keep feuding parents outside the court through the process of mediation and Dispute Resolution is a step in the right direction, this step can not succeed without a presumption of Equal Parenting, and bargaining in the shadow of the law would only produce the same results of winners and losers regardless of the terminology used, if and when equality is eliminated from the formula of the Divorce Act.

False Allegations to Thrive if Family Violence Definition is Expanded
Introducing family violence elements as proposed “any conduct whether or not the conduct constitute a criminal offence” will make the job of a Dispute Resolution Officer to resolve the dispute prior to an appearance before a judge next to impossible due to the factors relating to family violence that you are proposing will breed unprecedented false allegation by spouses against each other in order to gain control over the child. False accusations will reach their highest levels undertaken with impunity to the accuser if there are no proper safeguards to prosecute the offending accuser of this destructive phenomenon.

Males are equally abused as Females
There is a well known proverb called “Be Careful What You Wish For”, as it may surprise you to find out that fathers and men are abused by their female spouse not only at almost equal rates but it could be a lot higher than that of women claiming abuse, this is due to men abstaining from reporting abuse as opposed to women.

While divorce cases may involve a rate of about 3-5% family violence matters, this rate contradicts with the propaganda spread by Family Violence advocates that the majority of divorce cases are plugged by family violence against women.

Transfer of Wealth Disguised as Child Support
Concentrating on strengthening the child support collection mechanism to include access to confidential information is a misguided step, it is aim as indicated is to help single poor mothers, this is a poor policy that ignores parents, mostly fathers ability to care for the child, instead, this policy gives emphasis to the transfer of wealth from fathers or men to support mothers or women who usually turn to government for protection and support.

Equal Parenting an Opportunity to Share Child Care
What if women and women’s groups disregarded their fears and opposition to Equal Parenting and willingly share with fathers a chance to care for a child, would this not help those women to liberate themselves from the binding child care and give them time to better themselves financially by becoming a full contributing member of the labor force, rather than to claim poverty? There are a large number of mothers, who want to be liberated from the traditional role of the primary child nurturer and share this task with fathers. They just need the proper direction and education from responsible legislators, and Government agencies to achieve this transition.

Invest In Fathers Not Child Support
Father involvement is an underutilized resource in the family in the same way that female involvement has been an underutilized resource in the workplace; this situation provides you with an opportunity to put emphasis on involving fathers in the family rather than to concentrate on collecting child support.​

You Can Not Hear What We Do Not Say
Ms. Wilson-Raybould we do have a crisis in Canada it is called The Boy Crisis; boys who are deprived from dads, this crisis extends to girls who are also dad deprived.

Dad depravation after divorce is a serious problem it entails negativity about fathers and feelings that a dad who is available purposely not making himself available, is incompetent and unreliable.

Dad depravation is affecting every aspect of our lives, from school achievement, to school dropouts, school shootings, employment, suicide, drugs, homelessness, bullying, victimization, violent crime, rape, poverty, trust and empathy.

Communication and understanding each other can and will resolve many of those issues.
On behalf of fathers and parents in general I plead with you to reconsider your omission and introduce the Equal Parenting concept into the Divorce Act to safeguard the future of Canadians, and maintain a healthy and prosperous society.

Thank you,
Yours very truly
Gus Sleiman
President, Men’s Educational Support Association (MESA)
www.mesacanada.com
(403) 228-6366

Jason Chivers (whose name has been changed to protect his family) is a middle-aged Calgary teacher of average build. At home, his wife would engage in sporadic episodes of violence that Chivers won’t talk about even now that he’s left the marriage. At the time, despite the violence, he says he didn’t want to leave because of his kids.
​​Research into the area of domestic abuse targeted at men indicates that men fear going to jail on false charges, the loss of their children, and having to pay for both the family house plus an apartment on just their income.
​​​Yet when Chivers and his wife sought help, the counsellor’s first advice was to just get a divorce.

​​​​​”I spent a lot of time in the office, living there . . . for weeks at a time,” says Chivers. “Eventually I got the divorce, but not until I had tried everything else first. . . . The whole system is a disaster for men.”
​
​Although it’s not often talked about, abuse against men happens in households across the city, in numbers and types nearly the same as women: according to StatsCanada, in 2005, seven per cent of women and six per cent of men experienced abuse. The difference is, men don’t tell.

Maybe that’s not surprising when you consider that men often try to be the strong, silent types, raised to respect women, to rescue them from danger. Chivers notes they don’t how to handle it when the woman is the danger.

Experts say that abuse can happen to anyone.
Like Roy Martin (whose name has also been changed), a local tradesman who admits he lost all control over his life. At the end, he says, he had withdrawn so far into himself that he didn’t have a friend left. After one incident, with the red bruise marks still on his face, Martin and his wife went for help.

In the first session, Martin recalls, “the counsellor said to me, ‘What’d you do to make her so angry she had to hit you?’”

According to an Alberta government booklet on preventing male abuse, the abuse can take many forms — including pushing, blocking doors, threats, financial control, insults, lies intended to confuse, blaming, isolating, monitoring phone and e-mail communication, making fun of a person’s body, forcing or pressuring him into sexual activities he doesn’t want, and many others.

“Abuse is power and control . . . for the person perpetrating it,” says Cheryl Krneychuk-Waddy, of the Calgary Counselling Centre, adding that for the abused men, “there is a lot of shame, it’s a question of their masculinity . . . victims and abusers come in every shape, colour, size, gender, age.”

She says the couple may want help — both for the abused and abuser. Counselling can be a lifeline.

“Usually if a man calls in, they’ll be able to talk with a counsellor the next business day,” says Krneychuk-Waddy, who holds a master’s degree in social work.

Safety and confidentiality are always top priority. But in a crisis, men don’t know where to turn. There are 43 women’s shelters in the province. But if men are under 55 years of age or have kids, they can choose from just two shelters.

Laura Bakken is with the Community Crisis Society (Strathmore). “For men with children, there are really very few places they can go. If they are dealing with family violence, then it really helps to be in a place that has some understanding, and some focus on that, as opposed to going to a homeless shelter.”

The Strathmore society offers one room, which can be used either for a man and his children, or for several single men.

Calgary has a four-bed, privately funded Men’s Alternative Safe House Society. It provides a homelike setting in which men can come in from work, relax and be among men who know what they’re going through.

Krneychuk-Waddy says that you can help the man in your life who tells you he’s being abused — or whom you suspect is being abused. For a start, don’t confront his abuser, no matter how tempting it might be to do so. Do, however, talk to the man involved.

“Offer them a safe place . . . ask them what they need. Validate what they’re saying,” she says.

Bakken agrees. “Believe him, don’t judge him, don’t tell him what to do — let him know you are there to support him no matter what decision he makes.”

Both Chivers and Martin left their abusive relationships. Life went on for them, and they began to heal. A chance at a whole new life, where abuse is not allowed.

Martin has a final piece of advice for men who are being abused. “Start thinking about your own needs — what do you need to make you happy?” Chances are that those needs include safety, security, respect and a feeling that you’re loved. And that’s well deserved.​

Yvonne Dick is a central Alberta writer:
newsyvonnedick@gmail.com

Resources:

• Community Crisis Society (Strathmore): 403-934-6634.
• Kerby Rotary House Shelter (55+): 403-705-3250; kerbycentre.com.
• MAS H:403-242-4077; familyofmen.com.
• Counselling: 403-651-8075; calgarycounselling.com.
• Men’s Educational Support Association: 403-228-6366; mesacanada.com.
• Men’s Crisis Line: 403-266-4357.